Carnivore (2000) review

(2/10)

   Generic, unintentionally hilarious, and overall a disaster, Carnivore fails to do anything as a horror movie but pass the time and inspire a few cheesy laughs.

PLOT: The legend of the old haunted house in town has been instilling fear and suspicion in the hearts of the local citizens, but what they didn't know was that the house was being utilized as a high-tech lab, housing a new genetically-engineered creature. The creature, called the Carnivore, or "Carnie", is under the care of a Dr. Westmont (Steven Walker). One day, Dr. Westmont puts too much confidence in the creature's trust, causing the creature to kill him and run rampant throughout the house. This prompts special visitors from the nation's capital to come down and attempt to contain the failed experiment before it gets out of hand. However, a foolish group of drunk teens decide that same night to have some fun and spend a night in the old haunted house. As predicted, none of this goes well. The plot is rather cheesy and underdeveloped. Had they added a bit more substance, character development, or film-making skills, this movie might have had a story worth watching. Sadly, this movie drifts into the zone where generic creature-features go to be forgotten, including others like The Relic. 

ACTING: All of the performances in this movie practically sucked. The acting is akin to scraping someone off the street and paying them a few bucks to do an impression of his or her character. The teenagers seemed to be a kind of the comedy relief and the generic "naughty teenager" types. The cops and government officials seemed over-angry and under-experienced. No one in this movie even takes a step in the direction of good acting.

SCORE: The score was nothing too special. For the most part, it felt cheesy and misfitting. The soundtrack contains some obscure metal songs that don't do anything for the movie.

EFFECTS: The effects in this movie were really disappointing. The "Carnivore" looks more like puppet with a Halloween mask on. The blood and gore, for the most part, was cheap to the point of hilarity. The worst part of the special effects would have to be the camera through the monster's point of view. This grainy, out-of-contrast "monster vision" is just kind of dizzying and lazily done.

OTHER CONTENT: This movie fails in almost every aspect of cinema. Aside from the horrendous acting and lackluster plot, Carnivore brings to the table bad script-writing, unfunny humor and unintentionally funny action scenes, and a complete ignorance of the creature. The movie should have been named after the fighting cops or the foolish teenagers, for they take up more screen time than the monster.The only victory this movie has is making me laugh. Carnivore is on the borderline of so-bad-it's-good territory, as its cheesy effects and moments of horror inspire a few chuckles of ridicule. Had the humor been intentional, this movie would have been alright. However, it takes itself way too seriously for the numerous amount of flaws it contains.

   Carnivore is far from a good horror film, but it's at least mindless entertainment to make the mindful laugh. Bad performances, an underdeveloped plot, a terrible script, and squandered potential are what this movie is all about. If you want a cheap laugh or to pass the time, by all means, watch this. You'll spend half of the movie wondering where the creature went.

The Haunting (1963) review

(8/10)

   Though greatly outdated and a tad uneven, The Haunting still remains one of the most prestigious horror films of its time with an excellent cast, expert camerawork, and a harrowing psychological question.

PLOT: The legend of Hill House has been passed down from generation to generation. The house is said to be extremely haunted by the ghosts of the past owners who died inside. One day, anthropologist Dr. Markway (Richard Johnson) invites the house's future heir, Luke Sanderson (Russ Tamblyn), uptight ESP expert, Theodora (Claire Bloom), and unstable friend, Eleanor Vance (Julie Harris) out to the house to spend a few nights and investigate the haunted legends of Hill House. Throughout their stay in the house, things start getting creepier and creepier, instilling a fear that the legends may be true, especially for poor Eleanor, who's either going insane or being taken over by the house. The plot is a very classic idea from a classic novel and is executed fairly well. We're injected with a ton of wavering suspense throughout the film as small scares arise every so often. Along with this aspect, a kind of dramatic story is established through the characters' conversations.

ACTING: The cast in this film did excellent jobs at their parts. One of my favorite parts of this film is probably the chemistry the cast establishes among each other. The best performances were probably from Russ Tamblyn as Luke Sanderson, Julie Harris as Eleanor Vance, and Richard Johnson as Dr. Markway. Tamblyn provided a subtle comedy relief from the spookiness of  the house, Harris convinced me of her characters questioning insanity, and Johnson just fit his part well. The cast did very excellent jobs at their parts.

SCORE: The score for this film was very nostalgic and well done. It set the spooky mood very well.

CAMERAWORK: The camerawork in this film was quite excellently done. At each scare and moment of tight suspense, the camera was perfectly suited to catch the creepiest yet clearest angle it could get. The film is shot brilliantly.

OTHER CONTENT: This film was a classic in its time, but compared to today's standards, it stands more as a paranormal suspense or psychological thriller than a horror. The times it felt most like a horror film was the telling of the family history near the beginning and within the scattered scares near the end. The film feels more like anticipation with no release. However, when a scare does pop up, the suspense succeeds in making it decently effective. I think, really, The Haunting works more as a psychological horror of a sort, because throughout the whole film, we're left questioning whether Eleanor is possessed by the house or driven mad by her own paranoid thoughts. This where the film succeeds most, next to the acting and cinematography. Watching her go insane as the house falls down around her is a quite harrowing sequence.

   The Haunting is a rather outdated and slow horror film, but it does succeed in promoting a stellar cast, expert cinematography, and the bare bones of a psychological horror. The suspense, though tedious at times, helps create effective jump scares. For its time, The Haunting was probably one of the few horror films containing cinematic style, and not just a cheap thrill.

Freaks (1932) review

(9/10)

   Combining the elements of pure horror and compelling drama, Freaks lives to be more than just your basic shocker. It lives to be as true a variety show as it portrays, but never falling short of a few chills.

PLOT: The story takes place in your average traveling circus with its own special set of sideshow freaks, including things from bearded ladies and sword swallowers to things as extreme as limbless, deformed, and Siamese twin humans. All of the entertainers are very close to each other except for a certain two people: Cleopatra, Queen of the Trapeze (Olga Baclanova) and Hercules (Henry Victor). These two are perfectly normal, beautiful, and talented people and separate themselves from the other acts. However, one of the acts, a dwarf named Hans (Harry Earles) falls in love with Cleopatra and plans to leave his prior engagement for her. Cleopatra at first uses Hans as a servant and an entertainer, but when she finds out he has a small fortune hidden away, Cleopatra decides to marry him. After the wedding and a good few drinks, Cleopatra and Hercules yell in disgust at the freaks when they try to accept them as one of their own, revealing their true colors. Afterwards, all of the freaks hate Cleo and Herc, including Hans, and plan on getting revenge, especially after finding out she might be poisoning Hans. The plot is very well developed and executed excellently, with every element standing out and finding its place, from shock and horror to comedy and tragedy. The story elements fall perfectly into place all the way up to the chilling ending.

ACTING: The performances in this film are excellent. Olga Baclanova and Henry Victor both are excellent as Cleopatra and Hercules, establishing definitive duo of villains. They stood out about as much as the actual sideshow acts. One of the best features of this film's cast is the idea the filmmakers had to use real circus freaks in the cast. Harry Earles is really a dwarf. Daisy and Violet Hilton are real Siamese twins. The living torsos and pinhead-like beings are real. This effect in the cast makes the film extremely authentic and that much more chilling. The cast is well picked and excellently talented, keeping the tension high all the way up to the outstanding ending.

SCORE: The score is very haunting and effective, instilling a nostalgic feeling of horror and despair for the film.

OTHER CONTENT: This film may have some truly terrifying moments,which are filmed excellently enough to create an ominous, suspenseful mood, but Freaks itself contains all the elements of the variety show within the film. This film has comedy, tragedy, terror, a compelling story, and is overall very much like the circus within the film. Though a little cheesier compared to today's standards, the film does very much remain a classic of its time.

   Freaks is very much a show; the comedy, tragedy, horror and story are all there. However, it's a show memorable through its haunting camerawork and ominous, suspenseful mood building up the the shocker ending. The film is a lot of fun, but also a lot of serious emotion, enhanced by the excellently-picked cast.

Roman (2006) review

(6/10)

   Offbeat horror director, Lucky McKee, makes his acting debut in this independent, post-May psychological horror, which, though lacking much scare factor and budget, contains much substance.

PLOT: Roman (Lucky McKee) is a recluse of a sort with no friends, no TV and nothing to do but work and watch The Girl (Kristen Bell) pass by his apartment window everyday around 5:30 PM. Roman clearly has a kind of creepy, shy obsession with this girl. One day when Roman decides to get out of the house for a bit, he finally meets this girl. They start to have a few conversations and become friends. Next day, Roman meets the girl outside his apartment after work and invites her in. Things get a little exciting for Roman before she says she has to leave. Roman, in a fit of excitement, doesn't let her leave and accidentally smothers her trying to keep there and keep her quiet. When Roman realizes what he's done, he's distraught and doesn't want to let go of her for anything. In turn, Roman dumps her body in his bathtub and starts to preserve it under ice, as he doesn't want to lose her or have anybody find out. Roman's life continues normally until a new girl moves into the empty apartment. Her name is Eva (Nectar Rose) and she's a very strange character similar to Roman. Roman's life with his "two girlfriends" starts to get better but also very confusing in trying to let go of one obsession and begin with another. The plot is simple but executed pretty decently. Though McKee actually doesn't direct in this one, it still contains a flair of offbeat, disturbing horror through the telling of Roman's obsession with his corpse and his sheltering from the world. It's not perfect, but it could be done so much worse.

ACTING: The acting here is hit-and-miss for the most part. All of the performances are the equivalent to an everyday conversation with the person. Lucky McKee did a decent job as Roman, pulling out all the stops at the end of the movie. Nectar Rose also stood out a bit with her role as the visionary Eva. She took the part as if it came natural. The rest of the performances are just kind of plain, even Kristen Bell as The Girl. The murder scene was pretty much the highlight of her performance.

SCORE: The soundtrack is a weird mix of different kinds of alternative music. Though not too pleasant to hear, it sets the mood quite well for Roman's "dates" and fantasies.

EFFECTS: The only special effects involve the steady-rotting corpse of Roman's obsession. They're very cheap and inexpensive, but I like the fact that they tried to show the passage of time in this manner.

OTHER CONTENT: This movie is definitely a strange one, but for an obscure indie horror, it kind of works. Haunting atmosphere, a well-written script, surreal editing, and a prying look at a the life of an inexperienced recluse help this movie kind of float into the safe zone. This horror is by far not the best, but it would have to be an independent favorite for me. McKee and director Angela Bettis come together to make a very neat little psych horror, with a surprising amount of heart and realism.

   Though McKee isn't in the director's chair this time around, I'd still group it with all of his other works easily. Roman is a haunting, disturbing, and surreal psychological horror that is very underrated. Though the performances and scare factors aren't rock solid, the mood is still set accurately with all other factors falling decently into place. It's nowhere near perfect, but definitely the right touch of offbeat.

Antz (1998) review

(9/10)

   Antz still remains one of the most nostalgic animated films from my childhood, earning more respect with its all-star cast, creative animation, pleasant storytelling, and an appealing dark side.

PLOT: Z (Woody Allen) is just your average worker ant in a colony of ants. However, Z isn't happy with his place in life and never has been. One night, when Z and his best friend, army ant Weaver (Sylvester Stallone), go to the bar, Z gets a chance to dance, unknowingly, with Princess Bala (Sharon Stone). When Z finally finds out this fact, he figures he'd switch places with Weaver in order to see the Princess. What Z doesn't know is that, on the day they switch places, the army's going to war with vicious termites. Through all this, however, Z lives to be the lone survivor and an icon among his peers. Things are going great for Z up until he meets Princess Bala. In a strange turn of events, Z "takes the princess hostage" and flees to the outside world. Now Z and the Princess must either agree to go home or go on to discover the legendary Insectopia, but what they don't know is that General Mandible (Gene Hackman) has a few fatal plans for the anthill. The plot is very well thought out and executed brilliantly, with a perfect balance of humor and dark.

VOICES: The voice acting for the film is very well cast and performed. I can imagine no one but Woody Allen suitable enough for the part of neurotic Z. Everybody does a great job, especially (aside from Allen) Sylvester Stallone as Weaver, Sharon Stone as Princess Bala, Danny Glover as selfless army ant, Barbadus, Jennifer Lopez as friendly worker ant, Azteca, and Christopher Walken as Col. Cutter. This is one of the few animated films that boasts a cast as diverse and all-star as this without ruining it.

SCORE: The score is very upbeat, inspiring, and at times, kind of delightful. Harry-Gregson Willams definitely brings some of his best work to the table for this film. The catchy version of "High Hopes" during the credits has also become very nostalgic.

ANIMATION: The animation for this film is not only nostalgic, but very innovative for its time. The ants actually somewhat resemble their voice actors, the background and effects for the outside world are both colorful and almost whimsical, and the animation for the war/death scenes are very gruesome. This type of animation may be outdated today, but it's still very excellently done for DreamWorks debut.

OTHER CONTENT: This film is probably one of the most memorable, nostalgic films from my childhood, but to the dismay of DreamWorks fans, I feel it pales in comparison to Pixar's A Bug's Life. Had I never seen A Bug's Life, this film would be perfect, but Pixar set my standard for insect movies. In comparison, this film is more dark, less kid-friendly, sloppier with animation, and less creative with its settings and insect variety. Pixar just made their bug movie more clean cut, while DreamWorks went for the risky choice. This film is still fantastic in most every way, winning over Pixar with only clever humor, but there can only be one best.

   Antz, though not the best, is definitely a nostalgic, impressive, and even fun watch for families and people who grew up around the same time as I. Everything from the animation to the score is excellently done.

Upcoming Plans and Previous Distractions (Update)

Hi, everyone! I just want to post and let everyone know that my move across the country is finally complete, and I will start posting again. Coming up within the next couple months is the start of my Halloween horror marathon, which I try to start early every year. Within the next few months, expect plenty of horror and Halloween reviews and lists (to add a bit more excitement this year) Though I'm in the middle of adjusting to a new life, I have not lost passion for film and am planning on continuing my casual criticisms, maybe even more now due to faster internet access. Also expect more new-release reviews, for I have two theaters just down the road from my house now. The future's bright in this critic's life. Stay tuned, friends, for horror and new releases.

Chappie (2015) review

(5/10)

   Chappie has great special effects, a surprising amount of charm, and a surreal approach to the editing and execution, but the acting is hit-and-miss, there's barely any character development, and the plot is both preposterous and way too familiar.

PLOT: Sometime in the near future in South Africa, a company named Tetravaal arises and invents a strong, robotic police force ideal for taking down crime rates and the gangster underground. One day, the inventor of the robotic police, Deon Wilson (Dave Patel), invents a sort of robotic consciousness that can give these robots feelings and the potential to be human. When he presents this idea to Tetravaal's leader (Sigourney Weaver), however, she shoots it down and disregards it altogether. Deon, being confident in his abilities, attempts to sneak out a badly damaged robot with intentions to fix it up and run his consciousness programming on it. In the process, however, Deon is ambushed by small group of thugs containing gangster, Ninja, his girlfriend, Yolandi (Yolandi Visser), and their foreign friend, Amerika (Jose Pablo Cantillo). These thugs capture Deon and his robot and force him to program the robot to fight for them in their gangster wars, though Deon's new consciousness program forces the robot to have to learn slowly, like a child. With only a few days battery left on the robot (whom they name Chappie), a major heist coming up, and a jealous coworker (Hugh Jackman) out to shut down Deon's project, tensions are high in teaching Chappie how to be both a gangster and a scientific marvel. The plot has great potential and is executed fairly well, but it has a couple fatal flaws that set it away from being truly great. For one, the plot is way too familiar. The ideas of robotic cops and street education have been overdone greatly and don't add anything too fresh to this movie. Also, the plot twists just end up making the plot itself so preposterous and unrealistic that it veers into very spacey territory. The plot had potential, but it just ended up being wasted.

ACTING: The performances in this movie weren't all really solid. The majority of the performances were truly hit-and-miss. Some actors were excellent in their roles while others made you question why they were chosen for their parts. The best performances came from Hugh Jackman as Vincent Moore, Dev Patel as Deon Wilson, and Sigourney Weaver as Michelle Bradley. The addition of veteran actors really helped this movie succeed performance-wise but only by a little. The rest of the performances were good in some parts and mediocre in others. It almost feels like the actors only acted right in the parts they wanted to. Sharlto Copley also did a pretty good job as the voice of Chappie.

SCORE: The score was pretty good, but the soundtrack was pretty horrible. The great Hanz Zimmer conducted the score for the movie, which was pretty fantastic in the dramatic and action-packed parts. The soundtrack, however, consisted mainly of mediocre-sounding rap and hip-hop songs, more than likely done by Ninja himself.

EFFECTS: The special effects were probably one of the best parts about the movie. The effects seemed fairly realistic at certain points in the movie. The robots looked nice and real for the most part and the explosions were pretty nice. If there was a big budget for this movie, it went mainly into the special effects and the big name casting.

OTHER CONTENT: This movie had two other prime factors that helped it succeed just a little more than it should have: its unexpected charm and its surreal editing. For a movie about robotic cops and gangsters, Chappie had a surprising amount of unexpected charm, from teaching Chappie how to be a human to seeing him become a true gangster. The charm inspires a lot of humor, which keeps the movie from truly sinking. Also, the editing in this movie made it seem so much more possible and surreal, like the beginning scenes where the robots were on CNN. However, with these great pros comes at least one more great con. This movie's character development, except for Chappie himself, was rather pathetic. From the start of the movie, we're just thrust headfirst into the main plot with possible main characters we're just supposed to be expected to know. The only true backstory we get is that of the robots themselves, and even that's minimal.

   Chappie wasn't a terrible movie, but it wasn't one of the greats either. The special effects, veteran actors, surprising charm, and surreal editing kept the movie from truly sinking, but the familiar and preposterous plot, hit-and-miss supporting cast, lack of character development, and terrible soundtrack kept it from becoming one of the greats. I would watch it again, but it's nowhere close to one of my favorites.